My husband and I have 2 children. I can tell you down to the exact date and time of day they were conceived. We had no trouble conceiving either child. I tell you this, not to show off our fertility prowess, but to help illustrate a point I’m about to make.

I am 36 years old and I have been pregnant twice, both planned. I have never had an unwanted pregnancy. While I haven’t had a huge total number of sexual partners in my life, I have been sexually active since my late teens. How have I managed to avoid a single unwanted pregnancy? Fertility is apparently not an issue for me, I can get pregnant in the blink of an eye if I choose to (see first paragraph). All the other kids are getting pregnant left, right and centre, so what’s my secret?

Honestly? Condoms. That’s it. I have been on and off the pill, but honestly I prefer condoms. I can’t forget to use one, I always know they’re being used properly, they’re easy to use and readily available. So there is really absolutely zero excuse for unplanned / unwanted pregnancies.

But the single most important thing about condoms is, they are the only contraceptive that protects against STDs. My mind boggles and I start to make fish-faces when I hear about teenage girls on the pill. No! (I scream) You’ll have herpes before you even find a guy who can make you orgasm! You’ll spread thrush like it’s going out of fashion! And at the very worst, you’ll contract AIDs before you hit 20!

Condoms, those very simple little rubber sleeves, are really really easy to use, just read the instructions once and you’ll get the hang of it. Pop some in your knicker drawer, carry a couple in your bag, whatever it takes. Just use them and stop getting pregnant and disease-ridden, you stupid people!